The Beast Goes to Cornwall

The thing about the Beast is that it was the Beast. If you’ve ever seen Bad News, I’m sure you’ll understand. A black Transit van in the heat of summer was not a nice place to be.

Martin Goddard senior had warned us about Cornwall. Whatever we did, we were not to take that road. There was a hill, and a bend at the end of it. Do not go down it.

So, of course, we did.

At the top of the hill, Martin and Jamie went, “Oh shit, we’re in trouble.” Three of them got out of the van and went down to the end of the hill. Me and JB stayed in the Beast, with me handling the handbrake.

We carefully drove a two-ton Transit down a very long, bendy hill.

After parking the van at the campsite, we got to the gig and set up. It was a nice little room, beautifully done. Uncle Nikki was there, as he always was, and people started coming in.

It was fantastic. First gig of the tour, and people were coming in to see us. Brilliant.

Then the landlord came in. He turned to all the customers and said:

If you haven’t paid, you can’t come in.

They all left.

So the band played to me and Uncle Nikki. One man and his dog. Nothing.

It was brilliant. It was the best gig they ever played.